Found
by pimpleface
Summary: [COMPLETED] WHAT IF Manny didn’t have an abortion? WHAT IF she and Craig decided to give their baby up for adoption instead? Cassie’s search for her birth parents, eighteen years later.
1. CHAPTER ONE Strangers

**CHAPTER ONE - Strangers**  
  
"Cassie, is this it?" Pete asked, shielding his eyes from the sun. I glanced down at my map of downtown Toronto and up again at the store sign that read 'C&M Photography.'  
  
"I guess so..." I trailed off, not quite sure what to do next. Pete came closer, took my hand and stared into my eyes.  
  
"We don't have to do this is you're not ready," he told me. I nodded and let out a sigh. How could I not be ready? I'd been preparing for this moment my entire life.  
  
"... Maybe we can come back tomorrow," I said weakly. Pete wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my forehead. He was so good to me.  
  
"Sure. Let's head back to the hotel."  
  
---  
  
Nine o'clock the next morning. Streams of sunlight were pouring into the room through the open windows. Frustrated, I sat down at the edge of the bed and placed my head in my hands. Pete came out of bathroom, a towel draped over his shoulder.  
  
"Cassie?" he asked, his voice full of concern.  
  
"God, am I doing the right thing?" I asked, on the verge of tears. Pete gently pulled me up from the bed and let me rest my head on his chest. I drenched his shirt with my tears.  
  
"Yes. You're doing the right thing," he assured me quietly. "You can't spend the rest of your life wondering about this." He wiped away my tears and kissed me. "No matter what happens – I'm here. I'll always be here."  
  
Who knew that a guy I'd met in junior year of high school would now be making a cross-country trip with me and be by my side, riding this roller coaster of emotions as I searched for my birth parents.  
  
My name's Cassandra McKnight -- Cassie for short. I turned 18 six months ago and like I had vowed to myself since I was 7, I started this journey of finding Manuella Santos and Craig Manning, the _exact _day I turned 18.  
  
Manuella and Craig were strangers, as far as I was concerned. Just names of a flimsy piece of paper.  
  
Strangers with an unbroken connection to me – they were my parents.

_A/N: hiya! this is just a start – a beginning concept i formed in my head a couple of days ago. i want to know if people like where i'm going with this. so, five reviews 'til i continue! thanks vuurrry much..._


	2. CHAPTER TWO The Black Staircase

_A/N: so sorry for the long wait! thank you guys for all your reviews. i haven't been in the greatest writing mood – i've been completely lost on how to continue the two completely different stories i'm writing on here. hopefully a couple of you have stuck around to see how i work with this plot. so here we go...  
_  
**CHAPTER TWO - The Black Staircase  
**  
Less than twenty four hours later, there I was again, standing in front of C&M Photography. I took a deep breath and I pushed through the glass door, half wanting to turn back and run all the way back home. I cautiously took a step inside and grasped at Pete's hand.   
  
The inside of the store looked as nice as it's exterior -- black walls dotted with beautiful framed black and white photos, silver glass shelves displaying expensive digital cameras, camera lenses and picture frames of all sizes. I peered around one of the shelves and saw an African-American man in a suit standing behind the counter. He seemed to notice our presence, his head shooting up and greeting us with a smile.  
  
"Hello! I'm George. How may I help you, today?" The smile didn't seem quite as genuine as in one quick motion, he gazed at both Pete and I, and seemed to be assessing our appearance. I bet seeing two teenagers, one dressed in a pleated mini skit, a denim jacket and old Converse sneakers, the other in baggy jeans and shirt, standing around in a high-class photography store wasn't something he was used to.   
  
Pete put on a smile as fake as the man's as we approached him and said,  
  
"We were actually just looking for someone. A Mr. Craig Manning. The owner of the store?"  
  
"Certainly. Do you have an appointment?"  
  
"A-An appointment?" I asked uncertainly.  
  
"I'm assuming you want to book studio time with him? His schedule's fairly booked. Let me see...," he said, flipping through a large binder. "The next opening is three weeks from now." He looked up at us expectantly.   
  
"Well – no. I – we -- just wanted to speak to him," I stammered.  
  
"Oh," he said in a surprised tone. "Mr. Manning is actually in the upstairs studio with a client at the moment. But let me see if he can accommodate you." He turned away from us and walked into the back office. I took both of Pete's hands in mine and groaned.

"Shit. I think I'm going to puke. He's upstairs. A guy who could possibly be my dad – a couple of feet away." Pete smiled and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tight.  
  
"You'll be fine," he whispered in my ear. He slowly pulled away as George came out from the back.  
  
"Yes. He said it was fine. You can head upstairs." He pointed to the right of us, to a black staircase I hadn't noticed while looking around the store. It led up to the next level.  
  
"Thank you," I said as we started to walk away.


	3. CHAPTER THREE Mirror Image

**CHAPTER THREE - Mirror Image**

Walking up that staircase seemed to take a lifetime. With each and every step, my heart started beating faster and faster, my flustered thoughts racing through my mind. As we neared the landing, I stopped and clutched the railing. It was like I couldn't breathe, like all my breath had suddenly been sucked out of me. I felt Pete's hand on my waist and it brought me back to reality. I slowly sucked the air in and started to breathe heavily.   
  
Definitely not the best time to have an anxiety attack.   
  
From where we were standing, I could see flashes of light and hear the quick snapping of a camera, while a male voice was saying "Good. Now hold your head higher – Perfect – One more – That's great!" and then even more snapping.   
  
Pete and I rounded the corner and we came in full view of the studio area. White backdrops, tall lamps shining incredibly bright lights onto a model, perfectly made up and dressed in a gold evening gown. Rock music was loudly playing on a stereo that was propped up on a stool.  
  
Then – I saw him. Craig Manning. My dad... _possibly_.  
  
I was surprised to see that he seemed as out of place like we were, with his messy curly hair, dressed in jeans, sneakers and a plaid flannel shirt over an old Led Zepplin T-shirt. He didn't seem notice us standing there. He seemed completely absorbed in what he was doing.   
  
Pete nudged me and nodded in Craig's direction. I made a face and slowly cleared my throat. I gripped Pete's hand tightly.  
  
"Hello?" I said. Craig didn't look up. "Hello?" I said, louder. Still nothing. The stereo was blaring. I looked over desperately at Pete. Once more, he nodded in Craig's direction. I sighed.  
  
As soon as I turned back though, Craig's eyes met mine. He had stopped for a quick second and looked up from his work. My heart literally stopped at that one moment. Soon enough, it started racing.   
  
I saw Craig's eyebrows furrow and he mouthed something to himself, which I couldn't hear over the music. He reached over and turned the stereo off and started walking over to us, one hand holding the camera, the other one outstretched. That same weird look was still on his face.  
  
"Hi. I'm Craig Manning." I tentatively shook his hand. I was at a loss for words. I could see him searching my face with his eyes. I started to feel uncomfortable, and looked over cautiously to Pete. I guess Craig caught my look because he quickly apologized.  
  
"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," he said. "I-I just had this weird feeling. This is going to sound weird, but when I saw you standing here, I honest to God thought it was a blast from the past. You look like a mirror image of my wife when we were younger."   
  
I let out a shaky breath. I felt faint, like I couldn't handle what was happening. Wow.   
  
This really was him – how could I deny it now? I was talking to _my father_. 

I didn't know what to do, what to say. I didn't know whether to cry, smile or scream to the world that I had finally _finally_ found the one person I had been wondering about my whole life.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR Horizon of Blue

__

> _A/N: everyone's been so great. thank you for all your positive comments... i've honestly gotten into a way better writing mood because of all of you! i've been hesitant in posting all the new chapters one by one, so please bear with me and my lateness. i've decided to post a whole load of chapters, hoping it'll be suffice for the next four weeks that i'll be away on vacation. mmm... sunshine and tropical beaches.. i'm all set to go!! thanks again to all you wonderful people who've taken time out of their day to read my not-so-wonderful fan fic. heh. =) enjoy!_  
  
**CHAPTER FOUR – Horizon of Blue  
**  
I stood there like an idiot, searching my head for something half decent to say. The awkward silence was unsettling.  
  
"Geez, not the greatest thing to say to a complete stranger, is it?" Craig said, chuckling uncertainly. He ran his hand haphazardly through his brown locks.  
  
"Well, I'm -- I'm not exactly as much of a stranger as you think I am," I replied, swallowing a lump in my throat. There they were. The first fifteen words I had said to my father. I stared into his eyes as he gave me a inquiring look.  
  
Then it happened. Out of nowhere, all the uncertainties I was trying so desperately to suppress came rushing at me. What was I doing here? Why was I about to drop this huge burden onto someone else's shoulders? What was I thinking? That they'd open their arms to me and welcome me instantly into their already perfect lives? This wasn't some fairy tale – so why was I expecting it to end like one?  
  
My hands started shaking as I faced the reality of what I was about to do. I was going to abruptly change their lives forever. The uncertainty of it all filled me with complete dread.  
  
Why was I feeling all these things right at _this_ moment? Why _now_, when I was face to face with him?  
  
"You know what? Nevermind." I said in a rush, on the brink of tears. "You seem like you're busy.. I'm sorry for interrupting." I hastily turned around so that they wouldn't see me crying and headed back for the stairs, roughly wiping away my tears.  
  
"Cassie!" Pete cried out to me desperately.  
  
"Wait! Your name's Cassie?" I heard Craig's confused voice a second later, calling out to me.  
  
This wasn't how I planned it out. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen -- I wasn't supposed to be a blubbering mess.  
  
I knew that I couldn't face him anymore. Not like this.  
  
I ran down the stairs and accidentally bumped into George, making him spill papers everywhere. I mumbled a tearful sorry and ran straight outside, heading for who knows where. I honestly didn't care. I just wanted to run away, to escape from the mess I had created.  
  
I didn't give a shit to the people on the busy sidewalk who gave me rude stares as I bumped into them. I didn't give a shit to the people who looked at me with pity in their eyes. God, it was as if they'd never seen anyone cry before.  
  
I don't know how long I ran for. It seemed like forever.  
  
I stopped, heaving and out of breath, when I had no where else to run. I stood on the shoreline of Lake Ontario. In front me was this horizon of blue, behind me, was the problem I was running from.  
  
I plopped myself on the ground, buried my head in my hands and quietly cried.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE My Business

> _A/N: language warning! (for all the sensitive people out there...)_
> 
> **CHAPTER FIVE - My Business**  
  
It was dusk and the sun was setting when I finally made it back to the hotel. I didn't know how I was going to face Pete. I knew he'd call me a coward – and really, how could I blame him?  
  
I sighed and hesitated before I knocked on the door of our room. Pete answered the door with a worried look in his eyes. He didn't say anything and before I could get one word out, he drew me close and tightly wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and just felt glad that I was back in his arms.  
  
"Don't ever do that to me, Cass," he said, in a hushed but strong tone. "You got us worried. We didn't know what to do after you ran out and we couldn't find you."  
  
"I'm sorry," I apologized sincerely, removing myself from his embrace. "I just didn't – Wait." I stopped mid-sentence and considered what he had just said to me. "'_We_'? Who's '_we_'?" I took a step around him and pushed the door wider. Sitting on the couch was Craig, holding a cup of coffee. He looked up at me, with obvious concern in his eyes. My heart jumped to my throat. I immediately turned around, but Pete chased me down the hallway and gripped my wrist.  
  
"No. You can't do this again."  
  
"I can do whatever the hell I want to," I shot back, wrenching my arm from his grip and turning to face him. "Why did you have to invite him up here?" He looked at me squarely in the eyes and said,  
  
"I told him, Cass. I told him everything." I stood there, completely shocked.  
  
"What_ the hell_, Pete?! What made you think you had _any _right to do that?!" I yelled. "This is _my_ business! _Mine_!"  
  
"You made it my business when you asked to come with you. When you asked me to be there and support you," he replied strongly. The anger I was feeling blurred my thoughts. I was steaming mad and said the first thing that popped into my head.  
  
"Fuck you, Pete."  
  
The moment those words were out of my mouth, I wished I could take them back. The strong look in Pete's eyes turned into sadness as I desperately looked at him.  
  
I knew better. Our relationship wasn't anything like this. Any argument we'd ever had in the past had never gone this far – never resorting to name- calling or emotional abuse to purposely hurt the other person.  
  
"I-I didn't mean that. I'm sorry," I immediately said, tearful and reaching for his hand. All my anger was gone in a blink of an eye and I realized that I didn't care about anything else besides making things all right with Pete – the only person who really mattered to me.  
  
I could mess up everything else in my life – just not _us_. The idea of us together meant the world to me.


	6. CHAPTER SIX Beautiful

> **CHAPTER SIX - Beautiful  
**  
"Pete, say something," I pleaded, searching his eyes. "_Anything_."  
  
"Just talk to him. To Craig," he replied. "You owe yourself that much." Tears were stinging my eyes. I had spat nasty words right in his face and had been so spiteful when he was just looking out for me.  
  
He was still there – he wasn't going to go away. Pete kissed my forehead. "We've gone this far, Cass. He needed to know, and I knew you weren't going to tell him. I was just trying to do the right thing." He wiped my tears away with his hand.  
  
"I'm scared." I whispered.  
  
"Me too," he replied. "But we're in this together." He gave me a small smile and leaned towards me, planting a deep and lingering kiss on my lips.  
  
"Ready?" he asked, clutching both my hands. I looked down at our clasped hands. They seemed to fit perfectly, one in the other. "I'm not going to let go," he whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes tightly and let out a deep breath.  
  
This was it. I couldn't back out. Even though my heart was racing and all my uncertainties were seeping their way through again, I didn't want to back out. Not this time.  
  
We made our way back to our room and I stood in the shadow of the doorway, a last minute hesitation. Craig was now pacing back and forth across the room. He looked up, noticing our presence.  
  
"Hi." I said quietly. I saw Craig's eyes swell up with tears as he asked in a shaky voice,  
  
"Is it really you? My Cassandra?"  
  
"It's me," I breathed as, for the umpteenth time that day, I felt tears come to my eyes. My father ran to me and caught me in his arms. Just when I thought I had no more tears to spare, we both started sobbing uncontrollably. After what seemed like an eternity, we let go of our embrace.  
  
Impulsively, my father pushed my dampened hair away from my face and looked into my eyes. We both looked absolutely awful, but we didn't care.  
  
To us, this moment was beautiful.


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN Whirlwind

> _A/N: sorry that the previous chapter was really short! after writing it, i came up with the perfect ending. after giving it a once-over and editing it, i didn't want to mess it up by adding anything else. it's a nice chapter ending though, isn't it? =) at least i think so. hehe. onto the next one...  
_  
**CHAPTER SEVEN - Whirlwind  
**  
"My baby girl..." my father said through his tears. "I've thought about you every single day of my life."  
  
"This all seems so surreal to me," I replied, breathless. He gave me a small smile, but it slowly disappeared.  
  
"All this time," he started, shaking his head. "We loved you so much. Giving you up was our biggest regret. " He started getting teary and I took hold of his hand. For the first time, he took his eyes off my face and just stared down at my hand. He started sobbing.  
  
My vision was blurred with my own tears as I looked into his sad eyes. "I-I was just remembering the first time I saw you after you were born. Y-You were so tiny and you wrapped your little hand around my finger... And now, look at you. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."  
  
It was at that moment when he really broke down. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly that I could feel his body heave each time he let out a sob. "You're here now. That's all that matters," he said through his tears.  
  
It was weird, but I suddenly felt tired and drained. It was like I had had enough of this whirlwind of emotions that I had been caught up in the whole day. I felt like I had to tell him the real reason why I was there.  
  
"I came looking for answers," I said quietly. He slowly nodded and breathed in deeply.  
  
"You must have plenty of questions. But I can't answer them alone. I want to bring you home. I want your mother to meet you."  
  
"Now?" I asked uncertainly. I wasn't sure if I could emotionally handle it. Especially after this whole night. I was still blown away by it all.  
  
"Well, it's up to you. There's no pressure. Whenever you want to," he replied.  
  
"Have -- Have you told her about me?" I asked slowly.  
  
"I didn't want to upset her until I knew it really was you. We've had some false alarms before. I didn't want her to go through that again."  
  
"S-So you've been looking for me?" I stammered in disbelief. How wrong was I about these people? I thought they didn't care. I thought that I was just some mistake that they wanted to cast out of their lives and forget.  
  
"Of course," he smiled. "You were our first baby. How could we not?"  
  
"'First'?" I wondered. "So, wait... I have brothers and sisters?" I was an only child growing up. The thought of having siblings was bittersweet. Thinking of not being there for them, not growing up with them was sad, but the thought of meeting them for the first time was overwhelming.  
  
"Yeah," he said softly, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Two younger brothers – Jake and Ryan." I let this sink in.  
  
I had so many other questions about the family I never knew I had. I wanted to know about their life. Then and now.  
  
My most dreaded question, however, was lingering somewhere deep inside of me. I didn't know if I'd ever have the strength to ask it – just because I didn't know how I'd feel once I knew the answer.  
  
I wanted to know _why_. Why they felt like they had to let me go.


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT Those Girls

_A/N: I'm baaaaack!! I had a wonderful, fantastic vacation and it was really great to come back and see all the reviews my story's gotten. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the positive feedback. Sorry for the wait – but I'm all set and ready to go. Enjoy!_

**CHAPTER EIGHT - Those Girls**

As raindrops hit the glass window, I reached up and my fingers traced their watery trail as they ran down the side of the car. The swishing sound of the wipers and the quiet mumble of the radio were deafening sounds in the silence.

Craig, sitting next to me in the driver's seat, uncomfortably cleared his throat. I looked up and he gave me a half smile, reaching over to pat me on the hand. I returned his smile but drew my hand away and began to nervously fidget with one of the many rings on my fingers.

"Weird how the weather changed so quickly," Pete piped up in the back seat. "It was a perfectly sunny day yesterday." Craig cleared his throat again.

"I know what you mean. The forecast said this week was going to be pure sunshine," he remarked.

"Nah, you can never trust those weather people," Pete chuckled. As Craig quietly laughed, I found myself impulsively rolling my eyes. Was this what we were reduced to? Talking about the damn fucking weather?

Shit. What was happening to me?? Gone was the normal, likeable Cassie – replaced by the bitter and caustic person who was sitting there in my body, in my clothes, _pretending_ to be me. It was all the stress, the pressure. Everything was getting to me.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, realizing that every second meant that we were closer and closer to our destination. Craig had picked me and Pete up at our hotel that morning in his black SUV. We were now on the road, heading to his place. Waiting there for us was the mother I knew only by name.

"Are you okay, Cass?" Pete asked. He knew me so well. Craig looked at me with a worried look in his eyes as I shook my head.

"Can – Can we stop at a gas station or something?" I asked, my voice slightly shaking.

"Sure," he replied.

Soon enough, we pulled into a Shell station and as soon as Craig stopped the car, I jumped out and ran for the washroom, not caring that my clothes were getting soaked from the rain. Once there, I rushed to a stall and bent my head over the toilet, gagging and throwing up the eggs and toast that Pete had forced me to eat that morning. With shaking hands, I reached for the toilet paper and wiped my mouth clean, only to double over and puke all over again.

"Oh God," I moaned, tears stinging my eyes.

"Cass?" I heard Pete's voice calling out to me, echoing as it bounced off the bathroom walls. I angrily brushed away my tears and spit into the bowl before flushing all the water down the drain.

"I'm here," I gruffly replied as I walked out of the stall and leaned both hands on the sink. I closed my eyes and felt Pete's strong hands massaging my back.

"Can I please just be alone for a while, Pete?" I asked weakly, keeping my eyes closed. "Please?"

"Sure," he replied. "I'll be right outside waiting for you."

I waited until the sound of his footsteps disappeared before turning the tap on and letting the cool water run through my fingers. I splashed some of it on my face, hoping it would somehow neutralize the acidic smell of the vomit. I reached for paper towels to dry my face off with and sighed as I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

I turned to look back when I heard the door open and a blonde girl who looked like she was my age walked in. She was dressed in a pink sun dress and out of the small pink handbag she was carrying, she took out her pink shaded lipgloss. She shot me a look when she realized that I had been looking at her.

"Is there a problem?" she asked in a haughty tone. She was like a clone of those girls who I was never friends with in high school. She was one of _those_ girls who picked on me when I was in junior high... _those_ girls who knew my name but insisted on calling me "The Adopted Kid" and snickering every time I walked passed them in the hallway. I clenched the paper towel in my fist and threw it roughly in the garbage bin.

"Nope. No problem. None at all," I said with a fake smile as I walked away. She followed me with her gaze, probably thinking how weird I was.

I hadn't thought about those moments in a _long_ time. Those moments made me a stronger person – the person I was now. I just had to remind myself that moments of weakness were normal.. if they weren't, then I wouldn't be human.


	9. CHAPTER NINE Her Eyes

**CHAPTER NINE - Her Eyes**

"Almost there," Craig announced as we turned into a residential street. The rain had stopped, but grey clouds were looming above us, threatening us with more showers. I opened my window, in desperate need for fresh air to calm me, just as he pulled into a wide driveway where a red van was already parked. The garage door creaked as it opened automatically. It was attached to a big beige coloured house with a large front lawn.

Craig cut the engine and looked at me expectantly. "Ready, sweetie?" he asked. I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded, unbuckling my seat belt. Stepping down from the SUV, I noticed that the other side of the garage was cluttered with "boy" toys: hockey sticks, basketballs, soccer balls, roller blades and a pair of bikes. I smiled wistfully. I guess being messy ran in the family.

I turned and clasped Pete's hand in mine as we followed Craig into the house.

"Manny?" Craig called out, entering through the back door, into the kitchen.

_Manny_... Manuela. It made sense. I gripped Pete's hand, my knuckles turning white as I felt my heart shoot up to my throat, beating a hundred times faster. I breathed in sharply and closed my eyes, making a mental note to calm down. I opened them and watched as this woman entered the room. I knew it immediately, with no hesitation. I _felt_ it. This was her. She was my mother.

And, her... her eyes. They were just like mine.

Her eyes filled with tears and her lip trembled as she approached me. She didn't say anything but took me in her arms and cried. My own tears ran down my cheeks. There was no holding them back anymore.

"Daddy? Who's that girl?" I heard a small voice say. "And – And why is Mommy and you crying?" I looked up and through my tears, I saw Craig, with dampened cheeks, carrying a little boy who was maybe four years old. It was Manuela, who quietly laughed and replied, "These are tears of happiness, Jakey. Because our family's finally complete." At that, she started to cry again, cupping my face in both her hands and looking into my eyes with this immense look of sadness.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. At those three words, I broke down completely. My knees began to feel weak and I slowly crumpled to the floor, Manuela holding me in her arms and we cried together. Never in my life have I ever cried that way... I simply didn't know I had it in me.

I guess that eighteen years of simply _not knowing_ was finally lifted off my shoulders... and that felt _so_ amazingly good.

_A/N: Sorry again for the short chapter! I promise! I'll post quicker next time around. I hope that's enough consolation for everyone out there! Thanks again for all the reviews... it couldn't hurt to have a couple more!! hehe =)_


	10. CHAPTER TEN The White Box

**CHAPTER TEN – The White Box**

I played with the bread crust on my plate as I gazed at the two little boys sitting next to me, talking animatedly about the latest Pokémon XXVI episode. I found it highly ironic that there I was, totally overwhelmed by this once in a lifetime experience and there they were, chatting about make-believe animals that made annoying sounds.

Despite myself and the situation, I quietly laughed, realizing that it was the first time I'd laughed in weeks.

We were all seated around the dining room table later that day. Manuela had prepared lunch and I'd managed to politely take a few bites, even though each time I swallowed, it felt like the food was scraping my throat. The emotional stress had definitely taken a toll on my physical body.

The conversation around the lunch table had been fairly light. I barely said two words myself, still concerned and slightly embarrassed by the vulnerability that I had exposed myself to after displaying that much emotion earlier on.

"Okay, kids," Manuela announced. "Finish up those lunches quick! Then you can go play that new game Daddy bought you yesterday!" At that, Ryan and Jake stuffed their mouths with the last of their sandwiches and gulped down their orange juice, jumping off their seats and racing out of the room.

"Mention a video game and you can get them to do absolutely anything," Craig chuckled, getting up and stacking the dirty plates they left behind.

"Hun, just leave the dishes for later," Manuela said with a small smile. "I think it's a good time to talk over some tea." She went into the kitchen as Craig led us into the living room. I slowly walked around the room, delicately letting my fingers trace the edge of picture frames holding photos of the boys.

I stopped and picked up a wooden frame which held a beautiful black and white photo of Craig and Manuela in an embrace, on their wedding day. I looked up and saw Craig watching at me.

"It's amazing how much you look like her," he remarked. I gave him a half smile and put the photo down just as Manuela walked into the room and placed the tray she was carrying onto the coffee table. She sat down on the couch next to Craig, and I took a seat next to Pete, across from them. No one said anything while Manuela poured tea into the cups.

"I know this must all be overwhelming for you, Cassie," Manuela said, looking up at me. "This is above anything I've ever imagined myself." I brought my cup to my lips and sipped too quickly, burning my tongue. I felt stupid just sitting there and not saying anything. I had planned this moment out in my head a million times. All the questions I had, everything I wanted to say to them.

I saw Manuela give Craig an anxious look when I didn't say anything. Then she suddenly burst into tears and leaned closer to Craig to sob on his shoulders. He stretched his arm around her to comfort her, kissing her hair. Through her tears, she looked up at me again and cried,

"Cassie, I know you're angry at me. I-I know you think that I am this callous, awful human being for abandoning you when you needed me the most." She started to sob really hard, and I started to speak up, but she interrupted me. "No. Just please let me finish. I _hate_ myself for doing that to you. My heart still aches every single time I see a baby with it's mother. To think of how many times you've cried out for your Mommy... and I wasn't there..." she trailed off and Craig pulled her closer, with tears in his own eyes.

Surprising even myself, I instinctively stood up and kneeled on the floor in front of Manuela, taking her hands in mine.

"I don't want you to think that I hate you. I don't," I told her, forcing her to look into my eyes. "I never have." She leaned down and kissed my cheek, her tears wetting my skin. She wiped it away softly with her hands.

"I don't want you to ever doubt the love that your Dad and I have for you. We have loved you every single day of your life," she said emotionally. There was nothing I could do but trust in what she said. "I-It's no consolation, but I have something I want to give you." I leaned back on my feet to give way as she passed me and she brushed away her tears as she walked over to a set of oak drawers on the other side of the room. She pulled one open and took out a large white box with a sheer pink ribbon wrapped around it.

She handed it to me and as I gently tugged at the ribbon, she began to explain.

"On your second birthday, I started to write letters to you every other day, hoping – hoping that one day you'd get to read them and know that there wasn't a day when I didn't think about you." I lifted the cover and from the huge pile of papers inside, took out the first piece of stationary. I unfolded it and began to read the tear-stained ink.


	11. CHAPTER ELEVEN Her Letter

**CHAPTER ELEVEN - Her Letter**

_Good morning Beautiful,_

_It's your third birthday today and it hurts me so much to know that I won't be there with you. I can't even imagine how much you've grown. I'd give up everything I have just to see your dimpled smile or hold you in my arms again... _

_I was at the mall yesterday and my friend Emma, who I was with, thought I was completely crazy when I started yelling out that I saw you, my precious baby, in some other woman's arms. I just knew that it was you so I started yelling at the woman to give back what was mine completely. _

_She kept denying it and denying it. She said that that baby's name was Helen, and that she didn't know who Cassandra was. Emma kept pulling at my arm, telling me that it wasn't you... it wasn't you._

_...But how could my own eyes deceive me? _

_It wasn't until the baby in her arms started to cry. That was the exact moment when I knew that it really wasn't you. Every mother knows the sound of her baby's cry. _

_I apologized and apologized to the woman... deep inside thinking of how delusional I was, thinking that in my own desperation to see you, my imagination would just run off on its own. I started to cry, right there and then, in the mall, in Emma's arms. I didn't realize it then, but she told me later that I kept repeating, "I wanted it to be her... I wanted it to be her..." over and over again. _

_I just miss you so much. It just gets so unbearable sometimes. I feel so alone. Much more, now that Craig's gone and out of my life._

_What kind of life do I have left? Without him? Without you?_

_I'm left with nothing._


	12. CHAPTER TWELVE Mine To Keep

_A/N: anyone upset that it seems like all the chapters are getting shorter and shorter? hehe. i'll try my best to keep them longer.. just for your reading pleasure. =)_

**CHAPTER TWELVE - Mine To Keep**

I put down the letter and wiped away at the single tear now rolling down my cheek.

"I-I don't understand," I said, looking up at Manuela. "You wrote here that Craig was out of your life... But he's still here." Craig and Manuela both looked at each other and she nodded.

"That's true. We have a lot of explaining to do," she replied. "We just don't know if you want the whole story now, or – "

"I'd really like to hear everything," I interrupted. "The whole story." That was all I'd ever wanted for much of my life: to know where I came from, to know where I stood with them.

I got up from my position, placing the box on the table and returned to my seat next to Pete. He took my hand in his and for the thousandth time, I thought of how glad I was that he was there with me.

"When - When I was fourteen," Manuela started. "I got pregnant with you. Being fourteen at the time, it was the most devastating news I'd ever gotten in my life... Even though Craig wanted to keep you, I was struggling between that decision or getting an - an abortion."

She wrung her hands together and with a pained look on her face, she said, "I still can't believe how close I came to actually doing it. I mean, literally sitting there, on the doctor's examining bed." She shook her head at the memory. "But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't end the life of the baby growing inside of me. Of all the dumb and stupid decisions I've made in my life, I'm glad I made the right one to keep you back then." She smiled wistfully.

"Keep me?" I asked, confused. Did she somehow forget that they had given me up for adoption?

"Yes," Craig replied. "We did keep you... for a while, anyway. Manny's parents wanted her to have the abortion, and when she said no, they kicked her out of the house. With no where else to stay, I convinced my Uncle Joey to let her stay at our place."

"It was really great for a while," Manuela said. "I mean, minus all the gossip at school and all the questions about the future, we were young, together, in love and having a baby. At that time, we both knew we had to put our dreams on hold... for you."

"After eight months and three weeks in Manny's stomach, you were finally born," Craig spoke up. "I was there, in the hospital room right when it happened, Cassie. It was the most exhilarating moment of my life." His eyes lighted up at the thought and Manuela smiled.

"The moment I first held you in my arms, I forgot all the pain and could only think that you were a beautiful baby that I knew I loved to the core of my being. There was no question.. I knew I was going to keep you." After a few moments of silence, Craig added dejectedly,

"...But then reality caught up to us. I mean, I was supporting two other people with a measly job at McDonalds. Without my uncle, I don't know if we would've lasted the first month. With a new baby, things became ten times worse around the house. We both didn't get any sleep and I still had school and work.

My Uncle Joey was like a dad to me – the one condition when he let us stay with him was that I had to stay in school. Manny had to drop out and as each day passed, I began to hate how much of a burden we were becoming to him."

Manuela had tears in her eyes when she spoke up, "Things were becoming so unbearable. Craig and I started to argue about _everything,_ and all the questions about our future that we once brushed away now seemed magnified a hundred times.

And all this while, we began to think of you and if this was the kind of environment that we wanted you to grow up in. I couldn't give you anything that I wanted for you. For months, we thought that this immense love that we had for you would be enough.

...But we knew you deserved so much more than what we could offer you. We were just _kids_, Cassie. _Kids_." She paused to roughly wipe away her tears. I felt tears pricking my own eyes and I tried to blink them away.

"You - You were eleven and a half months old when we brought you to the adoption agency," Craig explained. "Just two more weeks and it would've been your first birthday." His voice broke and trailed off as he stared intently at the carpet, his eyes getting this glazed look. After a few seconds, he began to cry and sobbed through his tears, "You cried so much when I handed you over to the lady at the agency. We kissed you good-bye and told you we loved you.

I - I can still picture it in my mind – she carried you off down the hallway and I could still hear your cry... I stood there, wishing so bad that I could take you back and comfort you...

...But you were already gone."


	13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN Complete

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN - Complete**

Craig buried his head in his hands and started to cry. A tearful Manuela reached over and comforted him, her hand as moving up and down his back.

"We hoped that giving you up would ease some of the burden of living our lives -- but it was the complete opposite," Manuela confessed. "Sure, financially it was better. I went back to school, to friends that stuck around." She paused for a while and she looked into my eyes. "But there was _nothing_ that could replace what I lost." Craig cleared his throat and regained his composure, adding,

"The arguing didn't stop. In fact, I think we fought and argued even more. So a few weeks after giving you up for adoption, we gave up on each other and ended our relationship. At that time, I think you were the only thing holding us together."

"I moved in with my bestfriend, Emma, and her family," Manuela told me. "Craig and I didn't see or speak to each other for almost a decade, if you can believe it. I - I think that we reminded each other of the pain that we so much wanted to forget."

"Wow. A _decade_?," I asked incredulously. "How did you finally get back together?"

"It was gradual," Manuela said with a small smile. "We met at a function. I was just starting this fashion boutique in downtown Toronto and needed to advertise, and Craig was a photographer looking for clients."

"We became friends again," Craig said. "We got to know the grown-up versions of each other and fell in love, just like before. Three years after that function, I asked for her hand in marriage."

"We had Ryan that year, and then Jake two years after... You were a constant memory in our hearts, Cassie. Even after several years after we'd given you up, I'd be downtown and I'd catch myself looking at babies in strollers, hoping I'd recognize and see you again." I pursed my lips, giving her a half smile.

"I never actually stayed in Toronto," I told them. "My adoptive parents brought me to the west coast. I grew up in Vancouver for most of my life."

"How - How are your adoptive parents?" Manuela asked meekly.

"They've been really great. My Mom -- ," I hesitated and flinched, thinking of how insensitive I was, as I saw Manuela quickly look away when I said the word 'Mom' and wasn't referring to _her_. "Sh-She was the one who really pushed me to come look for you guys." I looked at them both and slowly let out a deep breath.

"I'd really like you to know that whatever answers I came looking for today, they weren't going to change how I viewed my life before. I now understand what you both did for me, and I'm thankful. I'd live this life a million times over, even with all its disappointments and moments of weakness and feeling so alone even in a roomful of people.

Meeting you has made me feel complete and I want you to get to know me better." My eyes brimmed with tears as I quietly added, "I want you in my life."


	14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN Epilogue

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN - Epilogue**

_Two years later..._

"...Happy birthday, dear Jakeeeeey! Happy birthday to youuuu!" I laughed as I belted out my last out of tune note, amidst the applause and whistles, as Jake blew out all six candles on his gigantic double chocolate cake.

"Mommy! Can I open my presents now??" he asked enthusiastically, with his eyes wide open. Everyone around the picnic table laughed.

"In a few minutes, hun," my mom replied, smiling. _Mom_. I called her that now, with more ease than ever before. I had two sets of parents now -- one no more important in my life than the other.

Dad walked up behind me and kissed my cheek. "Nice of you to finally show up," he teased. My flight had been delayed two hours and had just got there in time for the cake ceremony.

"You know I'd never miss such a fine shindig as this," I winked, turning to give him a tight hug. "That thing is biologically attached to you, isn't it?" I then smirked, pointing to the camera hanging around his neck.

"Only in his wildest dreams, sweetie," my mom spoke up, laughing as she walked towards us, with Pete at her side. I gave him a small kiss as he handed me a glass of punch and started to play with the engagement ring on my finger, still not quite used to it yet.

"I guess a 'congratulations' is at hand?" my dad asked, looking at both of us proudly. I smiled as Pete shook my dad's hand and hugged my mom.

Dad ushered us to stand a few steps away, as he proceeded to take a picture of both me and Pete. He then handed the camera over to Pete with the slightest bit of hesitation, muttering directions, and then walked over to pose with me and my mom. With their arms around me, they leaned their heads closer to mine.

_Click._

My smile had never been brighter.

Over the years, after millions of miles travelled, hundreds of long distance phone calls and dozens of written letters, we strengthened that bond that we knew would last forever and we hoped would never separate us again.

The emptiness I once felt disappeared. I was accepted. I was loved.

...And that was more than I could've ever hoped for.

_A/N: sniff.. i can't believe it's actually over! i really hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. i'm looking forward to the new season of Degrassi – heck, maybe i'll get some more story ideas from there, so keep an eye out for further works. thanks again for all your encouraging words and positive comments... this honestly couldn't have been done without all your support. 'til next time! =)_


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